Dear XYZ,

As we count down to Y’s birth, I sometimes wonder, how should I respond if he ever asks me, “Why did mommy and you bring me into this world?”

I feel like I should have some kind of an answer to that, perhaps this could also serve as a reminder to myself about the kind of dad I want to be, especially when things get challenging.

Dear Y, you may wonder why you were brought onto this planet amidst upheaval. We have a looming climate crisis, the global world order established after Second World War is unraveling, AI is changing how work is conducted. There is a lot of uncertainty and risk. I think it’s important to remember what the point of all of this is. And I think, the point is to have a good life, one that you define and cultivate. I think all these ongoing changes do not preclude making a good life, one filled with meaning and purpose. I hope that you will grow to be a good person, the kind that leaves the world better than you found it. I hope that you take joy in all things big and small. I hope that you’ll chart a path you can call your own and make decisions based on beliefs and positions that you refine over time. I hope that you’ll open yourself to what the world has to offer, especially its awesome natural beauty — the depth of the ocean, the breath of the sky, the warmth of the sun. I hope that you’ll love the people that you meet, make many friends of different stripes, experience heartbreak, and believe in the goodness of people. I hope that you’ll make your own mistakes, learn from them, and do better the next time. I hope you’ll enjoy the life that you’re given, not by mom and I, but by the infinite string of contingent miracles that manifested your consciousness into your body in this time and place.

My job as a dad is to help guide Y to be and become himself. I’ll try to be sensitive to his inclinations and interests, and help him channel his energies to his ends. I’ll be honest when I need to be, but also be kind and open because he is born in a different episteme, and there’s so much that I’ll learn from him and the way he looks at things. I look forward to sharing time with him.

I’ll probably not be doing a second one of this if I have another child. Or perhaps it’ll be a good chance to revisit and revise this then.

Mommy and I are excited that you’re coming Y!

xoxo,
K