Dear XYZ,

It’s often very easy to forget how lucky I am to be able to live this life; to be able to experience all that I experience.

Even things that may not be the most comfortable or even painful. How fortunate am I to be alive to experience that.

Of course, it’s somewhat understandable for us to avoid unpleasant feelings. Or we may get frustrated when things don’t go our way. Some of these things may be truly terrible, but some really aren’t when I zoom out a bit.

Perhaps it’s a disagreement with C – where things go in the house, how we want to raise our kid, how we should spend our money. But when I zoom out – how lucky I am to be on this adventure with such a wonderful person.

I’m sure there’ll be moments where I feel overwhelmed being a dad in the near future. But again, how fortunate I am to have a child, to be someone’s father, to be able to journey through life with someone in this manner.

I think it’s so easy in our culture to want the next thing, to want more than what we have. And — I know this is a cliche but perhaps it’s because it’s true — it is so important for us to recognize what we have, see the bigger picture, and be so so thankful. Things could’ve turned out very differently.

I think being happy requires some mental effort, because sometimes the grain direction of our society points towards misery. Advertising is designed to make us feel like we are missing out on something or that without that brand new thing we are incomplete. Social pressure makes us doubt if our choices were right, especially if they aren’t conventional. Understanding what is truly important to us and cultivating that inner perspective to see things in that light requires practice.

Because we’re so lucky to live this life, why should we aspire to live another? The best way to be grateful to this life that we’re given is to live it in a way that is true to us: our value, beliefs, and desires. At the same time, to also live a life of love instead of resentment, by letting other people live their best lives, even if their choices may be different from ours. In that way, we can become someone else’s luck, by either helping them to live and enjoy their time here on this planet, or leaving them alone to do so.

Of course, there are things around being good neighbors and making sure that we organize society such that more people can be lucky. But at least on an individual level, I think this holds true — to cherish, to live, and to love.

xoxo,
K